Good Night~Sleep Tight ~ my little Angels

Bedtimes, I don't think there is a parent in the world who has at some point or another had difficulty with bedtime.

Our girls share a room together and we started that about 1 month before Bryce was born. Shortly thereafter we started having Kristina sleep in our room until Vanessa fell asleep. Kristina is a night owl and NOT a morning person and Vanessa is the total opposite. HOWEVER, when big sis Kristina is in the room Vanessa thinks it's the COOLEST and wants to play, talk, get in her bed, and so on (which would lead to spankings, crying and stress on everyone). Therefore we WERE putting Kristina in our room until Vanessa fell asleep and then moved her. For nap times Kristina has been spending the whole nap time in our bed (not my ideal situation but I was choosing my battles with juggling 3 kids ages 3 and under).

In the last week there have been MANY nights where Bryce was alseep at 8pm and I wanted to go crawl in my bed and go to sleep (and did some nights with Kristina right next to me which I totally loved but didn't want to make a habbit of) or did not because she was still in our room. It got me thinking that a change needed to be made...

Let me stop right here for a moment. I know there are parents who believe you should allow your children to sleep in bed with you and others who believe you should not. Ben and I, for our own reason, have chosen to not have our children sleep in bed with us. Granted, they each have slept with us in our bed and in a basonette in our room when they were babies and I was nursing. Once they began to sleep thru the night they were moved to their own rooms. This works for us, we don't judge anyone else differently for what they do. As a mommy I wish I could sleep with my kids in my arms EVERY night but, again, for our own reasons we do not (and I'm just saying "own reasons" cuz I don't want to bore anyone with them. If your curious and want to know what they are I'd be willing to share them with you).

Ok, so back to my story. The girls are pretty good with bedtime the way it was. We would have our moments but overall it worked. Well, now I decided it wasn't working. I began just praying for wisdom about what to do and this week (in the midst of the sickest I've ever been) it just came to me. On Weds. I made up a rule for Vanessa who is notorious for getting out of bed. She will stay in her room but not in her bed. We have found her asleep UNDER her bed, in the door way, in her sisters bed, behind the rocker in front of the window, in front of her closet...and it just goes on (always with her pillow, her dolly and her blanket of course). This was also a problem when we attempted to put the girls together so I thought I'd try to tackle that with Vanessa before I attempted putting them both back together. Wednesday afternoon I made up this rule for Vanessa: #1 rule: STAY IN BED. I repeated it about 5 times and then had her begin to repeat it back to me. Then I just stood at her door and every time she'd get out of bed I'd put her back and say "#1 rule is what?" and she'd say "stay in bed". She thought it was fun at first but eventually got the hint. When Kristina woke up from her nap that afternoon I sat her down and had a big girl talk with her. I told her beginning that night she was no longer going to be sleeping in mommy and daddies bed. That I have a new rule for bedtime and I told her what it was, had her repeat it 3 times (and Vanessa even got in on the repeating). I did this so that come bedtime Kristina knew what to expect. I told her for each night she did this she could wake up and put a star sticker on that day of the calendar.

Each night we have a bedtime routine. This works, I highly suggest a routine and the girls will even let me know if I left something out.

At 7:30 it's bath time, then pj's, go potty, brush our teeth, say our prayers (together as a family in their room), give hugs and kisses (we have about 5 special kind of kisses that Kristina has made up over the past year and Vanessa has adopted a few as her own...it's a fun way to say goodnight), then 8pm is lights out (sometimes we go a little over). Vanessa in her room and Kristina will then go to our room.

Last Night:

After hugs and kisses, they both got into THEIR OWN BEDS and I said with quiet excitement, "What is rule #1?" "Stay in bed". We would go back and forwarth repeating it so I knew they knew it (and they thought it was fun) and then I said "What is rule #2?" (they didn't know it because it just came to me that I needed this one too and I taught them rule #2) Rule #2: Be Quiet (and I would say it with a very soft and quiet voice/whisper). Then the last time I'd ask them what rule #2 was, I slowly began to walk out the door and they whispered "Be Quiet". They are each allowed to have a book which they can quietly look at in their bed so the temptation to talk and play isn't there. We keep a nightlight on next to each of their beds to they have a soft light to see. This first night Vanessa got out of bed ONE TIME!!! I couldn't believe it!!! I simply went in her room and in a firm voice asked her what rule #1 was, she repeated it, I asked her if she was obeying the rule and she knew she wasn't. I put her back in her bed. Then I asked Kristina if she had obeyed rule #2 and she said she didn't so I just had her repeat in back to me. I think I went in the room a few times because they weren't being quiet but I had no problems after that with them getting out of bed. By 9:15pm they were BOTH ASLEEP! (Kristina usually will stay up until 11pm, sometimes midnight). I WAS AMAZED!!! I wanted to go wake Ben up and tell him it worked but the poor guy was asleep at 7:30pm because he wasn't feeling well.

Nap time today:

NOTE: The girls have never slept in the same room succesfully for nap time before until today.

Our routine for nap time is lunch at 12:30pm, wash hands, brush teeth, go potty, kisses and hugs, lay down at 1pm.

Today I did the same thing, repeated the 2 rules less than last night because they were getting it, and NEITHER of them got out of bed. I did have to go in a few times because they were talking. The first time I went in their room and told them "it's time for bed. Be quiet". The second time I will tell them the same thing but with a firm voice and then after that I just stand in their door way and give them a stern "looking at". Once they saw me they'd instantly roll over and be quiet so there hasn't been any need for spankings (side note: I was spanking last night but then Ben and I watched a supernanny episode today where it was a similar situation as ours and we've decided to try her methods before choosing to spank. We DO believe in spanking but if this works without then I wanted to try...and it worked tonight! YAY!). IF they were to get out of bed I would do the same exact thing by telling them "It's bedtime. Stay in bed" only tell them while putting them back in bed.
Bed Time Tonight:

Tonight did the same thing and Vanessa was asleep by 9:30 and Kristina by 10:30 (again, no one got out of their beds. Vanessa likes to sit on the side of her bed but didn't get out). I don't think Vanesssa has ever fallen asleep while Kristina was in the room. IT'S WORKING!!!! And I feel AMAZING!!! No, struggling, no having to go back in the room because Kristina is calling for us, no yelling, not as much crying, no asking for more hugs and kisses or wanting water or food etc. etc. (I will mention that when I explained to Kristina about the rules, I did tell her that if she needed to get up and go potty that she was allowed to without getting in trouble. Tonight she had to go potty and simply got up, went potty and we didn't even know it until she flushed the toilet. Normally we would know because Vanessa would come out once she saw sissy was up but tonight Vanessa stayed in bed! When Kristina was done going potty tonight she came out and excitedly told us she went poop 3 times them she ran back to her room and jumped in bed. It was a very proud moment :) HEHE

That is our new bedtime rules and I must say how AMAZED I am at how well it has worked from the get go! I think Vanessa just needed the boundaries to be simple, easy and rememberable! 2 Rules (a 25 month old just turned 2) can remember! #1 Stay in Bed, #2 Be Quiet (a whisper is considered quiet if they DO say something to each other or to us. But no more loud chatter which turns into laughter which turns into yelling). I found myself less stressed and the last two nights I have enjoyed just relaxing after they're asleep. Usually I'm having to stay awake because Kristina is still awake and going back in a bunch of times because she's calling for me. I just can't pull myself to fall asleep when my kids are still awake (unless Ben is awake but he gets up early to go to work so I encourage him to get sleep. I can sleep until the girls wake up after he leaves so I don't mind staying up.)

Tonight I just felt like running around my living room while spinning in circles and jumping and yelling with excitement!!! We have tried so many things and with much stress and questioning our ability as parents we found what "made due" until Bryce was old enough for us to switch our efforts to the girls again. I think we found our nitch. I hope and pray that all of you have found or will find yours as well.

Good night to all and to all a full nights sleep!

Tomorrow I should have some time to get back to downloading pictures from the past few months. Stil not caught up. I'm almost done with October photos tho!!